【记录】那些打动我们的神夏台词

楼主会不定时记录一些让人印象深刻的神夏台词（包括原文和翻译），也欢迎小伙伴们一起补充。
可以是长篇大论，也可以只是短小精悍的一两句话。
自绘卷卷镇图楼

John Watson,my friend,John Watson.
John...
When John first broached the subject of being best man,I was confused.I condess at first I didn’t realise he was asking me.When finally I understood,I expressed to him that I was both lattered and suprised. I explained to him that I’d never expected this request and I was a little daunted in the face of it.I nonetheless promised I would do my very best to accomplish a task which was,for me,as demanding and difficult as any I had ever contemplated.Additionally,I thanked him for me the truth he placed in me and indicated that I was,in some way,very close to being moved by it.It later transpired that I’d said none of this out loud.
约翰跟我提起伴郎这回事时，我还有点困惑。我得说，起初我并没意识到他是要请我做伴郎。当我明白过来，我向他表达了我很荣幸，也很惊讶。我对他说，我从没想到他会找我来，同时我也有些不知所措。尽管如此，我还是保证会尽力完成这个对我而言最为困难也最具挑战的任务。另外，我感谢他对我的信任，同时我也表示在某种程度上，我几乎被感动了。但实际上，这些话我都没说出来。
(Done that.Done that.Done that bit,done that bit.Done that bit.Hmm.)
I’m afraid,John,I can’t conggratulate you.All emotions,and in particular love,stand opposed to the pure,cold reason I hold above all things.
约翰，恐怕我无法祝贺你。所有的感情，尤其是爱，都和被我奉为至高无上的理性相违背。

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A wedding is,in my considerede opinion,nothing short of a celebration of all that is false and specious and irrational and sentimental in this ailing and morally compromised world.
婚礼在我看来，不过是为庆祝在这个病态的，道德缺失的世界上所有的错误，虚伪，无理以及冲动。
Today we honour the deathwatch beetle that is the doom of our society,and in time,one feels certain,our entire species.But anyway,let’s talk about John.
今天我们所尊崇的是将要终结这个社会的蛀虫，将来它也一定会终结整个人类。不过，我们还是说说约翰吧。
If I burden myself with a little helpmate during my adventures,this is not of sentiment or caprice,it is that he has many fine qualities of his own that he has overlooked in his obsession with me.
如果我愿意在冒险时带上一个助手，不会是因为动了情，或是心血来潮，而是因为他有着诸多优良的品质。只是他自己忽略了，因为对我太过着迷。
Indeed,any reputation I have for mental acuity and shapness comes,in truth,from the extraordinary contrast John so selfessly provides.It is a fact,I believe,that brides tend to favour exceptionally plain bridesmaids for their big day.There is a certain anology there,I fell.And contrast is ,after all.God’s own plan to enhance the beauty of his creation.Or it would be if God were not a ludicrous fantasy designed to provide a career opportunity for the family idiot.
其实，如果我被认为是思维敏锐，都是因为约翰极为无私地衬托了我。我想，新娘在她们最重要的一天总是会偏爱平凡无奇的女傧们，新郎和伴郎也很类似。可以说，对比是上帝增强自己作品美感的方式，除非上帝只是个荒谬的幻想，只为给愚人们提供职业而存在。