letter 176, January 25 1840:
This morning I received your letters from Pesth (please no more recommandirt letters) in which you detailed what you term household accounts. I was sadly moved by all that. The misfortune of only being your mistress and not your wife was rammed home to me as it had never been before, when I think that I have to stay far away from you on such days, such lovely and splendid days, my dear and great Franz, days of noble pride which You truly deserve!
What you say to me about permission to be unfaithful (in this connection I was posing a question, to which you didn’t reply, as is your wont) is full of heart and fills me with respect for you, although this way of feeling will always remain incomprehensible to me. It is as impossible for me to conceive as that pigs may fly, and I can only allow of it as an inexplicable fact. The final word in your letter Truth is useless. I swear by our children that even a white lie has become impossible for me with you. I hasten to rid myself of all my pent-up secrets and no confessor would ever have heard such a full and true confession. If I do not write to you, it is simply because I do not know if it would not be better to talk. What is certain is that my love, my veneration for you does nothing but increase and that your word ever and always will be the sole regulator of my actions.
This morning I received your letters from Pesth (please no more recommandirt letters) in which you detailed what you term household accounts. I was sadly moved by all that. The misfortune of only being your mistress and not your wife was rammed home to me as it had never been before, when I think that I have to stay far away from you on such days, such lovely and splendid days, my dear and great Franz, days of noble pride which You truly deserve!
What you say to me about permission to be unfaithful (in this connection I was posing a question, to which you didn’t reply, as is your wont) is full of heart and fills me with respect for you, although this way of feeling will always remain incomprehensible to me. It is as impossible for me to conceive as that pigs may fly, and I can only allow of it as an inexplicable fact. The final word in your letter Truth is useless. I swear by our children that even a white lie has become impossible for me with you. I hasten to rid myself of all my pent-up secrets and no confessor would ever have heard such a full and true confession. If I do not write to you, it is simply because I do not know if it would not be better to talk. What is certain is that my love, my veneration for you does nothing but increase and that your word ever and always will be the sole regulator of my actions.












